How to Transform Overwhelm
Activity without purpose is the drain to quality of life.
I have a crapload of stuff to do today.
Hell, today? Try this month. I am a list person, and it is one of the great joys in my life to write something down and cross it off. I get literal goose bumps of pleasure.
We all need to celebrate our small wins wherever they are, right?
The problem occurs when I look at a rambling list of tasks – some small, some large, some work, some family, and spend the next half hour staring, trying to deep breathe and get my head in the game, and mindlessly scroll through email because – why not search for MORE things to do?
Such is life, though. There is always a book to write, a book to edit, and a book to market. There is always a Substack or Ream post or short story to write. There is always a social media platform to put some energy into, or an ad to tweak/create.
There’s short term and long term tasks. There are things I really don’t want to do, and things I’d love to do.
When this overwhelm occurs there’s a few ways I deal with it. Most of the time, I manage to be successful, but to be honest? There are plenty of times I give up, fall onto the couch with my dogs, and watch replays of Project Runway or Vanderpump Rules. On those days? I give myself grace. I’m not perfect. I’m doing the best I can, and if my cranky muse needs to watch and eat junk food for a day, why not?
The good news?
I have plenty of tools in my toolbox to help.
I’ve taken some helpful courses like Sara Cannon’s HB90 program, and Tony Robbins Time to Thrive. I’ve studied how the brain works and tries to blow things out of proportion. I learned skills to manage the anxiety and overwhelm, which came from hours and hours of learning, practicing, and plenty of failing.
This quote was the one that helped today.
Activity without purpose is the drain to quality of life.
I have this quote on my desk, courtesy of a Tony Robbins seminar I took.
Crossing off items on a list is a high, but if I live to just complete tasks, I’m living a joyless life. Because doing all the tasks is not something to get done with so I can get on with my real life.
It IS my real life.
Everything I do on my list is part of my real life. It leads me toward fulfillment, or happiness, or purpose. So, knowing what each of these tasks bring to the table is a powerful way of sorting things out.
Let me give you an example of how I was able to transform my day into something with purpose.
This was my current list:
1. Create Tik Tok slide show
2. Do Ream and Substack posts
3. Write a holiday short story
4. Work on Covet
5. Re-cover the Sex on the beach series
6. Update back matter for three series
7. Check on cover for Covet
8. Listen to my Neuroevolve classes I missed
9. Meditate
10.Research Reddit
11.Write new proposal chapters for WF novel
12.Finish writing first module for my writing course
13.Dermatologist apt for Josh
14.Write To Sicily with Love bonus epilogue
15.Tweak Amazon ads and fill out income/expense sheet for FB ads
16.Email bookstore
17.Shower/nails **yeah, don’t judge me for needing to write down showering!**
18.Walk on treadmill
That’s my list.
Looking at it makes me want to go to the couch. Instead, I go through the list and begin seeing purpose to the activity. I lean in to what feels like the best items to move the needle forward with my career and what will make the most money. Also, what will give me the most pleasure and satisfaction? And what MUST be done because I’m out of time and have no choice?
Instead of freaking out that I have to grab my son, drive half an hour to the dermatologist for a five minute appointment, then go to drugstore to get meds, and get him back to school and interrupt my day, I shift my perspective.
I GET to spend an hour alone with my son. He’s eighteen. He’s going away to college. Soon, he will be gone.
Damn, I’m lucky I still get to do this. I take the time to connect with him. Instead of bitching about all the things I’m NOT getting done, I tell myself I get to lean in and just be a MOM. I love being a mom. Even at the dermatologist.
This shapes a task to something positive.
Let’s take the Tik Tok slide show. For me, this is a task better done in front of the tv later tonight on my laptop. It’s a lot of technical stuff before I can upload to drafts and then publish. I can shift that to later.
Writing is what drives everything forward for me. It also makes me feel more satisfied than doing anything else on that list. I decide to take a few hours and work on two writing things. One is a short post like this – a topic that lights me up and makes me intrigued to write about. The second is the proposal which is important since it’s new work. That takes up most of the day because I’m brainstorming characters and beginning a new story to send to my agent.
The cover stuff are basic emails and forms to fill out that I crunch in the middle of the day.
My meditation is done late before I settle in for leisure time at night. I walk on the treadmill right before dinner and treat myself to half an hour of mindless tv.
When I think about what I wrote that day, my insides feel happy. Because for me, that’s the true work. It moves me forward. I’m either sharing something, thinking about something deeply, or immersed in an imaginary world I’m creating.
I didn’t get to the rest of my tasks. They are there tomorrow. I will repeat this practice each time, shifting priorities and checking in with my body/mind.
What done gets done. But my day is my day – my real life – not my life leading up to my life.
Remembering that is a game changer. I can always reset.
Do you use any type of practice to attack your tasks? Any quotes that inspire you on a daily basis?
I used to be a list maker and checker off. Now that I've reached my eighties, I just go where I'm moved to go.